To my wife Amber R Varner | Westerly Hillman from San Diego California Charles Thomas Varner Shaylyn

Charles Thomas Varner
Shaylyn Varner
William Varner
Shirley A Varner

Although close to 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second and 75% of third marriages end in divorce. That's because people often don't learn ~ https://www.divorcebusting.com/PersonalIntensives.htm
Why?
Why when I needed you the most when I was young were you not there to protect me daddy?
Why when the other kids were able to go to the father daughter events did I go with mom's new sex buddy that abused me?
Why were you never around?
Why was I told you were in jail, you left with some other woman, you did not want to follow the rules, you were working far away, or you were dead?
Why didn't you care for me when I was young and mom was too tired to cook, clean, or change my diapers?
Why didn't you teach me all the things you know about the world so I could teach my kids if I ever have some?
Why were you gone when I needed to see how parents can work together and put their marriage first?
Why didn't I get Christmas presents and birthday presents from you when my friends did who had access to their father?
The reason is because your other parent stole you from me.
CPS took you so they could make money off abusing you and selling you off to the foster parent system.
Your grandparent and in-laws hid you from me because they wanted to control you.
The people that kept you from me were greedy for money and they get more money if they can keep you from their parent(s).
These child abductors told you lies about me when I was fine the whole time.
All I wanted to do is parent you and love you every day.

I was never on drugs.
I was never in jail as the result of a real conviction.
I could have parented you and kept you safe the whole time but the child abusers kept moving you around so I could never find you.
The police would not look for you and our court system took all of my money with false hopes that I would be able to get you back one day.
The lawyers lied to me and said if I gave them hundreds of thousands of dollars they should be able to help you know that I was alive.
When I paid the visitation officers from the court they never enforced the visitation so help you know your parent was alive if even for an hour. The courts never enforced the visitation either even though I always followed all the "rules."

Our lives together have been permanently destroyed for the years that you needed me the most but if we start now, we might still be able to enjoy the limited remainder of our lives together.

I love you. I always have loved you. I always wanted to be with you. I always will want to be with you. Even if you think you have made mistakes, I still want to spend every hour of the rest of my life with you.

You are our child.

The best way to parent your child is to work together with their other parent.
If you want the best for your kids, put your marriage first.

• 72% of all teenaged murderers grew up without fathers. 60% of rapists were raised in fatherless homes.
Source: Cornell, Dewey et al. “Characteristics of Adolescents Charged with Homicide.” Behavioral Sciences and the Law 5 (1987): 11-23.
• 70% of the kids now incarcerated in juvenile corrections facilities grew up in a single-parent environment.
Source: Beck, Allen, Susan Kline, and Lawrence Greenfield. Survey of Youth in Custody, 1987. US Bureau of Justice Statistics. Washington, D.C
• Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school as their classmates who live with two parents.
Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Survey on Child Health. Washington, D.C.:
• Fatherless children are eleven times more likely than are children from intact families to exhibit violent behavior.
Source: Barber, Nigel. “Single Parenthood As a Predictor of Cross-National Variation in Violent Crime.” Cross-Cultural Research 38 (November 2004): 343-358.
• Children whose fathers are absent consistently score lower than the norm in reading and math tests.
Source: Teachman, Jay, et al. “Sibling Resemblance in Behavioral and Cognitive Outcomes: The Role of Father Presence.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 60 (Nov 1998): 835-848
• 75% of teen suicides occur in single-parent families.
Source: Jean Beth Eshtain, “Family Matters: The Plight of America’s Children.” The Christian Century
• Children who live apart from their fathers experience more accidents and a higher rate of chronic asthma, headaches, and speech defects.
Source: Harknett, Kristin. Children’s Elevated Risk of Asthma in Unmarried Families: Underlying Structural and Behavioral Mechanisms. Working Paper #2005-01-FF. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being,
• 80% of the adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes.
Source: Jack Block, et al. “Parental Functioning and the Home Environment in Families of Divorce”