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Tendies are white if you pick off the breading
linktr.ee/hampture
linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Now on Soundcloud! http://soundcloud.com/alexbeyman
A trio of time traveling spacemen venture back to 1995. Not to avert any particular disaster, but to stock up on Crystal Pepsi, as it's discontinued. Don't bother them about war crimes or whatever, their need for transparent uncola comes first.
LYRICS:
We're spacemen from the future
We came back for Crystal Pepsi
Also to stop Hitler
But mostly for Crystal Pepsi
If there's time left after scoring
All that crystal-clear uncola
We might just stop by Africa
And eradicate Ebola
No promises though
No promises though
We're not out to overthrow the status quo
We're only here for the uncola that's clear
No time to go back and abolish Jim Crow
We're robots on a mission
You have to understand
We come from a dark dystopia
That's why we formed this band
Transparent beverages were banned in 2059
They're the secret sauce that lets us cross
the void of space and time
We'd un-nuke Nagasaki
We'd erase the Berlin wall
Apartheid and the killing fields
The invention of the mall
But none of that's our problem
We're just passing through
We'll bring back Crystal Pepsi
But the rest is up to you.
Merch, Patreon, etc. linktr.ee/hampture
Books, music, AI stuff: linktr.ee/alexbeyman
A righteous triumfeminate of fun loving, hard rocking, brutally violent muscle girls battle the sinister censorship of MOMS (Ministry of Moral Superiority) who summoned an army of cyberdactyls via the dark powers of the Karenomicon. In the resulting post-apocalyptic future, Battle Sluts kill & grill while starring in their own syndicated TV show
Lyrics:
Supersonic Lesbionic Futuristic Pugilistic
Excitement, Drama, Babe-o-rama, Anarchistic Fetishistic
Battle Sluts are coming like we warned you before
Their Uber just pulled up, now they’re kicking down your door
You devoured every episode, and then demanded more
So now they’re back, relax your crack, while they commence the gore
Chorus:
Tell me why, the prophets did not foresee
Cyberdactyls would plague humanity
But someday, a righteous matriarchy
Wouldst abolish their race, by official decree
In a far off distant future, or maybe the distant past
Battle sluts are suiting up to bash some dactyl ass
Their ovaries are fortified with vitamin sass
Double click, unzip ya dick, get ready to blast
(Chorus)
Sadistica’s the alpha, gynomancer supreme
Abomina is logical in the extreme
Vindicia knows positions to make any girl scream
Sisters with blisters, an unstoppable team!
(Chorus) + “Sisters so pernicious, an unstoppable team!”
Shut up about canon, just accept what we say
Our critics are anonymous, their face and balls are gay
married to each other, twas a very special day
Just for that, tit for tat, season 3 is delayed
Merch, Patreon, etc. linktr.ee/hampture
Books, music, AI content: linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Don't miss my other AI slop, spooky flavor this time: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLewpiT4NGrkPYxW_nLlqLEEmv-doe4Ie8
AI horror video playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLewpiT4NGrkPYxW_nLlqLEEmv-doe4Ie8
All other stuff: linktr.ee/alexbeyman
linktr.ee/hampture
linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Pre-order here: https://dreamkeeperscomic.com/store/p/Antiquarian-Anomalies
Antiquarian Anomalies consists of five tales set between 1890 and 1940, with a Teslapunk Ghostbusters meets Sucker Punch meets The Mutant Chronicles vibe, get it while supplies last or I will cry ugly tears and then eat them.
1. The Manifestation Cabinet
Bereaved widower turns to spirit mediums for comfort following the death of his wife. One actually turns out to have the goods, an electrical cabinet which can physically instantiate ghosts inside while powered on...but only while the door is closed. Just what goes on in there?
2. The Resurrection Men
Same premise as 1, but the widower is wealthy enough to avail himself of the exclusive, costly services of a shady business, the proprietors of which have pioneered a Frankensteinian resurrection process involving electricity and a mysterious black serum. Available only to the moneyed elite, the ranks of the risen nevertheless steadily swell in their secret subterranean necropolis, until they can no longer remain hidden from the world.
3. Not Long Now
The orphaned son of the protagonist from the first story goes to live in his late inventor / industrial tycoon grandfather's magnum opus, a largely automated orphanage. Arranged as a tower, it produces on its various floors all of the goods that a comfortable life requires. But as he reads his grandfather's notes, left to him in the will, it slowly becomes apparent that the mechanical orphanage has an ulterior purpose.
4. Up the Beanstalk
Set in the aftermath of Not Long Now, in a dreary mechanized world choked with pollution, what remains of humanity turns to cannibalism, farming a lower grade of human kept stupid by leaded water and genetic tampering. A fluke results in one of them being born with normal intelligence, blending in with the cattle best he can while exploring the planetwide slaughterhouse and trying to work out how it came to be.
5. The Patent Clerk
A patent clerk vigilant..
Futurism: linktr.ee/omegapoint
Religion: linktr.ee/whynotjesus
Writing: http://linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Merch, Twitch, etc. http://linktr.ee/hampture
linktr.ee/alexbeyman
linktr.ee/alexbeyman
linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Writing: http://linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Twitch, Patreon, merch: http://linktr.ee/hampture
linktr.ee/alexbyeman (My book!)
linktr.ee/hampture (Merch, Twitch, other stuff)
Book, merch, etc: http://linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Buy my book, get spooped, support the channel at the same time: https://dreamkeeperscomic.com/store/beyman
Other stuff (merch, twitch, etc.) http://linktr.ee/hampture
Merch, Twitch, etc. linktr.ee/hampture
Writing: linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Publisher website: vividpub.com
Substack and other writing stuff: http://linktr.ee/alexbeyman
Merchandise, Twitch, etc. http://linktr.ee/hampture
linktr.ee/alexbeyman
linktr.ee/hampture
Hamdome Gofundme: https://gofund.me/09f22d6b
Usual links to Twitch, Merch, etc.
linktr.ee/hampture
Incomplete WIP parts list:
1x Valterra 1 ½ inch gate valve
1x X-Large GSI Lexan Dry Box
4x #10-32x1-½ inch stainless steel machine screws (long ones for attaching gate valve to hull)
8x #10-32x3/4 inch stainless steel machine screws (short ones for attaching ballast pods to hull)
12x #10-32 stainless steel nylon lock nuts
12x #10x1/2 inch neoprene backed stainless steel washers
1x Power Reptile Heat Pad, 4 watts
The ongoing pursuit of underwater hamster objectivism